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People are ​What Matter in Life

I recently changed circles. My life had changed so much that I felt I did not know what to do or who I was. It truly was perplexing and stressful. I returned home to my old town which had a few changes but is mostly the same.

After 8 years the major difference was that they had all got older. For me, time had stopped in my town but for the many years had passed. They had new friends and families had changed with people missing and new arrivals. All of it I had missed.

During my period of transition, one striking thing I noticed was just how kind and welcoming everyone is. It is so humbling as my time in Korea was a place I missed dearly.

What made it worse was my family were still there.

Saying goodbye to my 2 sons was heart-breaking beyond anything I’ve felt before. No one should have to experience that. It was so hard in fact that my head was not okay for over two weeks. I am a programmer who could not concentrate on a computer.

And that then built up even more stress. To pile on that I had jet lag for over a week and then I caught bronchitis. And to really make my time more wonderful I fell down the stairs injuring my shoulder and neck.

But on the plus side, I have been to the doctors and I am all good

When I planned to come here, I had ideas and a schedule but that all took a back seat as I never planned for people and emotion. It was something that punched me clean in the gut and knocked me for six as in my head I wanted to be ready to take on anything instantly.

So after nearly 4 weeks, I have finally got my focus back

That was mostly due to friends, neighbours and family being there with wonderful advice.

So, when I ask what matters it is the people around me as they surprised me in many happy ways.  And now it is up to me to return the favour.

This Post Has 13 Comments

  1. Pete

    I wish you well on your new journey

    1. Nigel

      Thanks Pete. So far there is still a lot of adjusting.

    1. Nigel

      Thank you. Time is no healer to being distant from my kids. So tough but the future will be better for them.

      1. I know exactly how it feel. My situation was different. My daughter was taken away from me by my ex’s trick. I didn’t have contact with her for 5 years. Fortunately we were reunited after she turned 18. We are making up lost time. I hope somehow you get close to your kids again!

        1. Nigel

          Oh my. That must have been unbearable. Glad to hear you are together now.
          We talk on skype often but its not the same. It may seem strange to say ut but I miss them annoying me 🙂 I would take anything to be together now.

          1. Yes, it’s hard. One year, my brother-in-law received the kidney from China for his transplant. After that he stayed in Hong Kong where his wife (My sister) is working for the government. They had to leave their children in Vancouver BC, Canada by themselves. My sister skype them ever day. Watched on Skype of her practicing the piano…doing homework… They were in the last year of study – one in college, one in high school. My sister was so stressed out that she had eczema all over her skull and face. She was getting better when the kids graduated at the end of the year and moved to Hong Kong. I have to read your blog and try to understand your situation. Was it job related?

          2. Nigel

            Wow that sounds like a lot of pressure.
            Yes job related. We want our kids to get uk education but the government will not let a korean in the UK without me working 6 months at 18.5k or more. Easier said than done.

          3. Sometimes the policy is not all fair and equal. UK is open to accept muslim refugees. In US, the illegal aliens demand amnesty, whereas My sister and I (US citizens) sponsored other siblings to come, waited for more than ten years. Their youth ages are gone, didn’t want to come when they got old or got established where they are. I can name so many unjust situations in many countries. I think at this point, take care yourself first, then think of how to help your kids!
            When I worked in a school district, during disaster, principal gets priority to be treated, because he has to be well to take his responsibilities!!

          4. Nigel

            Mmm. My kids are stable but just missing me for a while. Later this year we should be together again.

          5. I know it’s tough. Your continuous communication with them and your assurance of love for them help them to accept the situation and make the waiting a little easier.

          6. Nigel

            Thanks. And as you experienced we will be together again some day

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